Grammar Rules That Anyone Can Be Learned With

  1. Avoid Alliteration. Always.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. Avoid clichés like the plague. (they’re old hat.)
  4. Employ the vernacular.
  5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
  7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
  9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  10. One should never generalize.
  11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
  12. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
  13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
  14. Profanity sucks.
  15. Be more or less specific.
  16. Understatement is always best.
  17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  18. One word sentence? Eliminate.
  19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
  21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

And in this vain, I will say that while grammar rules should be followed 98% of the time, there are those writers in every genre that break the rules, in accordance with their voice and style, and we never even notice because we are so lost in the story that it just works! Hope you got a laugh out of this post.

*J.R.R. Tolkien*       *J.K. Rowling*       *Stephen King*       *Stephanie Meyers*        *Suzanne Collins*          *E.L. James*        *Michael Crichton*

(originally posted at http://www.grammarly.com or http://www.facebook.com/grammarly)

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Grammar Rules That Anyone Can Be Learned With

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